I got off to a late start today after a very long hiatus from writing. Managed to meek out 520 words of editing. Not bad, I suppose, for a first day. But, when you have a daily goal of 4000 words writing/editing, it still seems a bit dismal.

I’m actually at a bit of a cross roads. My life is going really well at this point. My business seems to be on an upswing (though I do dislike the lifestyle sometimes), my future prospects look good with multiple options, and I’m checking things off my “bucket list” regularly. The nagging keeps on, though, in the back of my head.

Do I really want to be a writer?

Honestly? I don’t know. I like the idea of it. Writing several hours a day, publishing online, no direct public contact. Getting my thoughts and stories out there to be read. Generating something out of my own mind with tangible value. It’s a little exhilarating. But then I think of all the writers out there. Is there really a competition for market share in writing like there is in other businesses? It is so very possible that I could work for the next year, next five years, next ten years, the rest of my life, and never make my financial goals with writing. But, then again, I could spend the next twelve months writing and publishing and hit one out of the park with a bestseller, a movie deal and be literally set for life.

It could happen. Hell, it DOES happen.

I have just as good a chance (maybe better) of succeeding as a writer that I do as winning Publishers Clearing House. Well, to enter I just go online. To win as a writer, I have to slave over my keyboard every single day. But, what am I going to do with this time I have left anyway? Watch tv? I’ve already done the math. If I open a pizza shop, I’ll be working 8 or more hours a day, seven days a week, and it has just about the same odds of success as writing does (maybe a little better). Right now I have the majority of my day as downtime. Sure, I get distracted and it hurts my log time, but so what. Winter is coming and that means off season with lots of free time. I have a kayak. I have my health. I’m losing weight and I’m reaching my set goals all the time. Everything else is coming together in my life right now, so why not a writing career?

So, I decided yesterday that I would just set a number for the year and see what happens. If I hit it and no one buys my books, par for the course. I move on down the road and open a pizza shop, or stay with my current business, or move to the coast (paradise) and get a part time job and live a leisurely life. At least I can die saying I tried it and it just wasn’t in the cards. I could just as easily die a multi-millionaire from writing books that people read and enjoy.

Of what I’m certain of: it will NEVER happen if I don’t get the books out on the market. Zero percent chance. What do they say? If you build it, they will come?