”She’s got a crush on you,” Charlotte said, as she came into the room. “No she doesn’t.” I flashed her a wryly grin. “Oh, she most certainly does. In fact, she’s almost got me convinced to take you on as well.”
Charlotte brushed past me, a little too close, so she could ring up her sale. She punched in the dollar amount, then hit the return. The till drawer slid open and she put the bills in their respective spots.
“So, what do you think?” she asked, closing the drawer and turning toward me.
I looked over at her in disbelief.
I could lie to you now and tell you I was flattered, but at that time in my life, my immediate reaction was to reject her rather candid and tactless invitation into her bed outright.
Into their bed, actually.
I had been working there for probably two years by the time my boss and one of my coworkers had started shacking up together – out of the blue.
They were not bashful about it, either.
But, at that time, the invitation was a non-starter. And, being truthfully honest, I was in no place to take on one wife, let alone two, and especially five kids to round out an instant, drive-through family.
Yet, since stumbling upon You, Me, Her one day, I haven’t been able to get that old invitation out of my mind.
What if I had said yes?
What if, all those years ago, I would have jumped at the chance of my very own polyamorous relationship, my own sisterwives, big love amalgam – well, without all the Mormon, got to build my own race of people ideology – but still….
Would it have ended badly?
Or, would I still be happily married to two beautiful, aggressive, opinionated women?
Given the odds, I’m glad I made the choice I did.
Thankfully, it wasn’t even a choice.
I did hear they broke up a few years later. Charlotte apparently liked guys more than she realized, or who really knows what happens behind closed doors these days. Anyone’s guess really.
I went on to marry another coworker and lived the grand old life of matrimonial misery for six long and grueling years, before I was abruptly set free.
After my divorce, I watched those around me – friends, cousins, coworkers, clients – one after the other, a sea full of relational shipwrecks, rotting carcases of broken vessels littered along the shoreline as far as the eye can see.
They all, one after the other, freed themselves from one miserable relationship, only to tangle themselves again in yet another.
As for me, though….
I am what they call, a one time loser.
I have never remarried.
In fact, I’m pretty much the closest thing you can call a monk without an actual habit for me to wear or a monastery cell to live in.
Yet, I can’t help but wonder what might have been.
But, what about the show?
I don’t know.
For me, You Me Her, is like one of those dirty little secrets you have. I don’t talk about it with people I work with. In fact, I would imagine most, if not all of them, would have no clue what I was talking about.
But, I think the show is a kind of rare, white unicorn, and it’s so far three seasons has done a good job in showcasing a different kind of polygamy in our culture, one not riddled and steeped in religious dogma and counter-cultural bravado.
Jack, Emma, and Izzy are hands down the quintessential incarnation of modern day damaged goods. With Jack’s mid-life crisis, seeking “something” in the arms of an escort, yet never actually pulling the trigger (so he remains innocent to us), Emma’s not so latent lesbianic re-awakening, and Izzy’s peculiar quick to jump at, over arching desire for all things reminding us of deep, interpersonal relationship and love with an already established couple, yet despising literally everything about them (suburbia, careers, etc).
I can’t help but watch and wonder, just what is the goal here? The sex can’t be that great, or that different, could it?
I honestly don’t know. But, keep in mind, I was the dope that said no to two women when they offered an invite into their bed.
In the end, though, I really can’t see how this will work out for the three of them. Yes, Emma skipped off into lesbian heaven in Seattle – new job, new girlfriend, new life. Jack and Izzy have settled into a new life in the city, albeit, making the most uncomfortable and incompatible couple I’ve ever seen. But, season 3, of course, started off with a fresh divorce, yet all signs pointing to a rekindling of the most unholy fire that got us hooked to these three in the first place.
And, the writers did not disappoint. By the end of the most recent episode (to date), Jack and Emma are back together and shopping for homes in the suburbs again, while Izzy is struggling with her PhD and wanting from the relationship something a bit more befitting her age than weekday car pools and weekend bar-b-q’s at the neighbors.
Will she get what she’s looking for?
I sincerely doubt it.
Of course, the three of them can’t go off into wedded polyameric bliss, with everything working out for all three – otherwise, there really would be no show for us to watch.
But, I honestly can’t see it working out for them anyway. I say that because, for all the supposed benefits of these kinds of relationships, when you boil it all down, the cold, hard, stark reality is…….
We are talking about people here.
There is no way in which adding people to a relationship will make it function “better” or “healthier.” I could see more intense, more exciting, more thrilling at times. But, such always brings the steep and deep valleys of heartbreak, jealousy, guilt, shame, and regret. None of these emotions are absent, mind you, in a regular relationship. But, I could see how adding additional partners could only intensify them.
That being a given, though, it does not lessen the sheer entertainment value You Me Her can offer. It’s got all the greats boiled in it: drama, interpersonal dynamics, sex (not actual). It’s definitely worth a watch, and a binge over a weekend if you can find your own copy of all three seasons.
One developing sub-arc in the show is the story line between Shaun, the bartender, and Izzy’s friend, Nina. Who saw that coming?
So, if you haven’t seen it yet and think you would like to venture into the not so dark world of polyamory, and this time without all the Mormonism attached, check out You Me Her on the Audience Network.
In the not so distant future, I will also be starting a new trilogy series based on my own RSVP to a polygamist relationship. It will be interesting to see how my supposed relationship would have held up against demons and witches, while also trying to iron out who was going to do the laundry and run the kids to school. The current working title of the series is The Jack Shaw Journey and will be set on the Oregon Coast and Arizona.
Set in modern times, a new monk is mysteriously invited to visit an unheard of monastery hidden deep in the Canadian Rockies.
It doesn’t take long before our new initiate discovers there are secrets lying beneath his feet.
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