I just returned from a 2 day weekend at the paradise property, working on several projects, while relaxing and trying to acclimate to the cooler weather. Below are my Journal updates…

Lolita

I have started reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. I have to say, I really don’t understand the purpose of it. Why would anyone want to read about a pedophile? I heard about the book from the movie Captain Fantastic, which was an excellent film. Well, maybe four stars, since the ending was rather sketchy.

But I seriously do not see the point of this book. Once I’m finished, I plan to do a detailed study of video reviews and author interviews about the title, just to try to understand – wrap my head around why the author would even want to capture the mind of someone like this.

Captain Fantastic & Raising Children

Back to the movie, though. My Captain Fantastic was three miserable kids who hated life and resented everything they’d been given. To be honest, I think raising children, much like the institution of marriage, is like gambling your rent money away at the blackjack table. It is a no win situation, fraught with peril at every turn, ill-humored, ill-tempered, ravenous to your youth, your life energy, and your pocket book. Most people I’ve met, regardless of how they were raised, always find something to be disgruntled about their childhood. They weren’t loved enough. They were loved too much. Parents were abusive, parents were neglectful. There is no end to the complaining. I am thankful to be childless in a depraved and desolate world.

Paradise Property Update

On to more interesting things. Paradise is near. Soon, within a matter of 66 days, I will be free of the greatest extent of my personal debts. I will no longer serve the debtor, but will be truly free.

With the remaining amount of life energy I have left, I wish to devote it to a lifestyle of isolation, of mystery, of mysticism, to simplicity, solitude, sober contemplation. Commune with the spirit world, speak to God as if face to face, as if to a dear friend. I desire a life void of time, of alarms, where I move along with the natural rhythm of life, procuring my daily bread, subsisting on a pittance, enthralled and captivated – caught up in my own creation – as the world outside does as it pleases.

I have spent another two three days at the property, though it is now growing colder and the chill quickly seeps into the bones – to the marrow.

A distinct lifestyle is emerging. Cutting firewood now is of the utmost importance. It is next year’s wood, though already set aside for this year I’m certain is not enough. I’m currently harvesting off the myrtle tree that fell along the bank. It is progressing nicely. Soon I will have a wonderful cavern prepared for next spring and summer, where I can hang a netted hammock or sit out with my lawn chair under the foliage, shielded from the noon day sun.

I plan to put in trails within the tree line, shielded by the vegetation, to be a ghost, a phantom, a specter that haunts the meadows and the woods.

The Fog

The fog swept in off the ocean last night, just as the sun was setting. It crept over the ridge like a while animal stalking its prey, moving so gently, yet surprisingly fast. Soon, the entire lake and valley was engulfed in a gray haze, swallowed up entirely by a moving white monster. And then, just as quickly as it had come, it was gone and the stars came out, pitched against the blackest of skies.

The small black birds with the white beaks are back, having arrived from their fall migration from parts unknown. They are a peculiar species, gathering together in flocks on the water, skittering around at the slightest provocation. Never really taking off, but just skimming across the surface of the water for only a few yards, then settling back down again.

Thoreau

I am amazed again and again every time I dip into this book by Thoreau. How is it possible that he could be thinking so many of my thoughts, how his mindset does resonate with my own, yet all this time has passed between us, and we have lived in such different and foreign worlds. I am to him a time traveler, back from the future, engaged in a fact finding mission.

How is it possible that no one has heard him? No one has heeded his clarion calls. Inflation has truly taken it’s toll, but just as prices rise so do incomes. From Henry’s descriptions, the disparity have just about doubled. It used to take someone 10-15 years to pay off their mortgage, where as today, it’s 30 years or more. But, just as he critiques it, this is a false equivalency, as it is a sham. Man does not “need” a shelter that takes 30 years to serve dutifully. My house was paid off in 2 years. It cost $35,000. I made between $25-35k as a small business owner when I bought and paid for my house. It was at a 7% rate, which I brought down to 4% by paying it off in 2 years instead of 5.

My paradise property, I’ve paid $42,000. It is just about paid off in 3 years. I currently make $37,000. The major key – something Thoreau speaks about at length – is not how much anything costs. It’s how much I spend. How much I can do without and still feel satisfied, fulfilled, challenged, engaged with life. Purposed. That comes in at about $400 (not including debt). If I sold my house and car, I could live on $200 easily, with a goal of $160.

I can’t wait to read more from him…..

Trail Camera

My new trail camera worked great while I was gone. It capture this picture of a bear heading across my property, down by the water’s edge. This is about 20 yards from the deck where I sleep in my hammock.

What I Hope to Focus on Next Week

Next week should prove more challenging than any in the past. If I go over, it will be raining. If not, I will remain at home and focus on getting the house cleaned up for resale.

My goal is to have the upper deck built by the end of November. The shelter up and in place by the end of December. That is the heart of the cold season, and there should be snow on the ground – if any at all. If my prayers are answered, it will be a mild winter, allowing me time to get things in order. I think my current wood stove will suffice, but I do plan to buy the next size up, as I would prefer more cooking surface.

My Current Reading/Resource List

Academic Article Review of Black Bear Behavior – 1%
Academic Article Review of Cougar Behavior – 0%
Lolita – 10%
Desert Solitaire – 12%
Biocentrism – 10%
When we Die – 15%
Where I Lived and What I Lived For – 2%
In Six Days – 0%
Celibacy in Crisis – 25%
The Hour of Our Death – 20%
Through the Wormhole Episodes – 1%
Death Yale Lectures – 1%
Joe Rogan Experience Podcasts – 1%
Ninja by Lustbader – 32%
Fountain Creek Trilogy – 1%
John Updike Early Stories – 0%
Dexter by Design – 10%
Mammoth Hunters – 47%
The Goldfinch – 0%
The Regime (Left Behind Series) – 2%
Astrophysics for Busy People – 100%
Hermits: Insights of Solitude – 100%
What Your Doctor Won’t Tell You About Getting Older – Stopped Reading
Beyond the Quantum – Stopped Reading
Before the Fall – 100%
The Testament by Grisham – 100%

A very good week. Not enough research. Not enough reading. I did do some review work on summaries. I need to start editing again and also writing. I think I will start soon.

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