!! Course Assignment – Koinonia Institute – The Great Commission !! KWL !

The next course I selected as part of my Unschooled Master of Theology program was the KI course, The Great Commission, which covers Matthew 28:19-20, and the evangelical doctrine of universal evangelism.

This is a KWL course which documents what you already Know, what you Want to learn, and what you actually Learned during the course.

As a reminder, you can find all of my course assignments for the uThM here.

So, let’s get started….

What Do I Already Know?

The great commission is a modern doctrine of the evangelical church, centered on Matthew 28:19-20, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” This passage alone is used to claim that every individual involved in the modern church today is obligated to speak to other people about Jesus and, ultimately, to invite them back to the local church. This is a doctrine propagated extensively by the more conservative branches of the Baptist denomination, especially fundamentalists and 1611 King James only advocates, propagating door knocking, street preaching and street witnessing, and radical confrontation.

I would argue that this passage is actually NOT meant to be a hammer to guilt people into talking to and/or pressuring their neighbors, family members, or their friends. This passage is contextually directed at the apostles, the disciples of the first century who walked directly with Jesus. Now, this is not to say that we are not to evangelize, but it is not the cookie-cutter approach that is too often touted as biblical in many circles.

This idea that every member is an evangelist is propagated by the idea that the Church as an organization has replaced the individual as the major ministering entity in the world. They argue that we are responsible to bring lost people to the church (the programs, the services, the activities) and the church serves them. But, this is not what Scripture actually says.

Yes, there are to be evangelists in the church. But, this is, according to Ephesians 4:11-16, but one of the fivefold ministry gifts in operation today for the building up of the body of Christ for the purpose of works of service.

1. The Fivefold are: apostles, prophets, evangelists, elders, and teachers.

2. Only those who are called by God to the gift of evangelism should conduct the work of the evangelist.

3. The other four gifts of the fivefold ministry are no better or worse than the other, and none are universally given to everyone. Apostles establish churches (today our church planter, missionary church member). Prophets are as such but, due to abuse, should be rare if exercised at all. Prophecy can be contained in the message already given to us by God in the Word of God. The evangelist is the extroverted or (empowered introvert) member of the body of Christ that is gifted and equipped in reaching out to those who are lost, hurting, and without belief, to bring them into the church. Billy Graham is an example of this. The tent revival preacher is another example. The street preacher. The one who goes door to door. The Elder is the gift in the church that serves as the shepherd of the flock of God. He watches over the flock, nurtures them, watches out for their soul, and leads them, instructs them. Lastly, the teacher is given as the main instructor of the body of Christ. He is an academic. He is a doctor of the word. He might also be a shepherd or even one of the others, but he is predominately gifted to expound upon the word, to explain it, interpret it, to connect it, and align it with the world in which we live.

I do find it interesting that not mentioned in the fivefold ministry gifts is the position of deacon or servant of the church. This is the man who is chosen to serve the body in the routine tasks of tables and services (menial tasks) in order to free up the elders from such tasks so they can devote themselves to prayer and the ministry of the Word (Acts 6:3-4).

Other than this, there is no mandate for every Christian to evangelize their neighbor. In fact, Paul makes the point that not everyone will have the same gift in 1 Corinthians 12:4-31. Rather, each member provides what is necessary according to their particular gifting, causing the whole body to build itself up in love (Ephesian 4:16).

What Do I Want to Learn?

1. I would like to learn why most in the evangelical community accepts this idea of universal evangelistic obligation?
2. I would like to know the origin and developmental history of this doctrine.
3. I would like to see if there are any in church history who argue for an alternative view.
4. I would like to see if there is a way of reconciling the two opposing views into a biblically correct doctrine.

Lecture 1

Okay. So, Ron made the typical argument here for the common claim that evangelism is the responsibility and obligation of every Christian. The argument usually goes: We are to “witness” to our family and friends and strangers that are in our life about the gospel and convince them to come to church with us so they will get “plugged in” and get baptized and become members and then they can in turn go out and talk to all of their family and friends and strangers in their lives and repeat ad nauseam until the entire world has been won for Christ.

The proof text most often used (that Ron also used) is Matthew 28:19-20 (Mark 16:15-16), which states, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Amen.” Mark is a little different, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.”

This, of course, is proof texting at its best. If we read the context of these passages, they are speaking to the apostles/disciples of Jesus in the first century. They are not necessarily speaking to us today, or, at least, we cannot build an entire doctrine of obligation or guilt people into a particular activity just because of this one verse that could at best be indirectly inferred to us in this age.

Another verse used that is interesting, “you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8). With this we can see that he is speaking specifically to the apostles and disciples in Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria, for these are the immediate regions around where they lived. But, he also states, “and to the end of the earth.” We know that Jewish people during the first century had no concept of the earth as we know it and were unaware of the North American or South American continents, probably a great part of Southern Africa, Russia, China, or East Asia. It would have been literally impossible for those specific individuals to go to the “ends of the earth.” This would indicate that Jesus was speaking not just to those individuals in his presence, but to others. We know these to be from the missionary explosion that occurred toward the turn of the 19th century in America. Their work has circled the globe several times. Papua New Guinea is a perfect example of this. Back when I was a child, my teacher and his family went to this unreached people group as missionaries. Today, though, it is said that Papua New Guinea’s population is 95% Christian. The same can be said for the entire world. We have reached the “ends of the earth” a few times over. Yes, there are shifts from country to country, culture to culture in what they believe and reject. But today there is no excuse for not reading the Bible. It is accessible, save for extreme cases like North Korea and parts of the Middle East, China, and India, but there are also missionary organizations that operate as their sole purpose to bring the Word of God into places such as these.

We cannot say that it is our job to spread the word of God to the world and equate this to “everyone must be an evangelist” and need to talk to their neighbor, beleaguer their family members, and accost the stranger on the street. This simply is not how Jesus is building his church.

Ron does make a good point, though. We are not to evangelize under our own efforts, out of sense of obligation, or out of a sense of guilt. We cannot win favor in the sight of God this way. There is nothing we should do in life and for Christ unless we are convicted to do so by the Holy Spirit and we are convinced of it in our own mind. And, if he calls us to a purpose or to a ministry, he will certainly prepare and provide ample provision.

Ron then makes the statement, “the main purpose of the baptism of the Holy Spirit is to empower you to be a witness of Jesus in your “own” Jerusalem, Judea, and all of Sumeria.” This means that we are to allegorically apply this passage to our own particular circumstances and all become cookie-cutter pieces in the puzzle. Unfortunately, this is poor hermeneutics. At best, we can state that Jesus told the apostles and disciples of the first century to do this. Then we can extend it possibly to those who were engaged when the gospel was being brought to the “ends of the earth.” All we can do is glean the example they have set for us. There is no explicit mandate or obligation here, as the rest of Scripture bears out.

Ephesians 4:11-16, as Ron points out, lists evangelism as a particular gift in the fivefold ministry. These are: apostle, prophet, evangelist, elder, and teacher. These are used specifically by God to “build up” the church, to “equip” her for what Paul calls, “works of service.” This is the ministry of Christ in the mystery, as it serves selflessly within and without. We are to be at peace with all men. But we learn from 1 Corinthians 7:7, “each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that” and 1 Peter 4:10, “As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God” and Romans 12:6–8, “Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them” and “there are many members, yet one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary.” Christianity is not simply reduced to a three step process. It is not an Amway sales pitch in hopes of convincing the gullible or greedy or financially strapped. It is a mystery and we must allow for it to work as it will. People often feel obligated to “bring home the sale” or secure the win, or convince someone to follow Jesus, rather than discover if someone is genuinely being drawn already by the Father.

Ron then uses the passage 2 Timothy 4:4-5 to extend the perceived mandate to all believers. Paul says to Timothy, “do the work of the evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” But, this does not change the definition of “evangelist.” It does not divide it up into two different types of “evangelism,” the professional of Ephesians 4:11-16 and the informal every-member requirement of Matthew 28:19-20. As shown by Scripture above, the evangelist is simply one of five specific gifts given to the church, for the church, to build up and equip the church for works of service (i.e. ministry). This is not a mandate that everyone should be obliged to perform, as say is hospitality or giving an answer for the reason why we believe.

Ron goes on to say that the “preacher” is one who does the work of evangelism as the etymology of the world means “good news.” He argues that this does not equate to just the gospel alone, but to anything that equals “good” and something “new.” He then says that if we have something in our life that we know about, something that we have first hand experience with, and it has helped us tremendously, then we are really excited to tell others about it. He argues that we should be excited to tell people about Jesus because of what he has done for us. He claims we are not because we fundamentally underestimate the reality of the gospel. We have dulled our senses and our faculties to the very nature of the gospel itself. That, if we had not done so, we would not be shy in talking to people about Jesus.

Ron states this is a misunderstanding of what we are offering someone. But, personally, I think this is a misapplication and misunderstanding of what has been perceived as an obligation. As already spelled out, evangelism is a particular gift from God to particular individuals. It is not universal like the obligation of hospitality or the debt of love.

Ron goes on to say that the normal mode of evangelism is preaching. I find this peculiar as this was not the case during the first century. The normal mode of evangelism was reasoning with people from the Scriptures (Acts 17:2) as doors were opened to them, and persecution. It was persecution and suffering that fanned the flame of the gospel to spread as it did in those first few centuries. This is why evangelism is so difficult in our Western culture today. It is too easy to say no. It is also too easy to say yes and mean no. There is no genuine cost to anything anymore.

Ron makes a distinction between evangelism and teaching. He states that evangelism is preaching or proclamation and teaching is explanation. I would agree with him to some extent. But, preaching is also teaching as well. But, he goes too far in his conclusion that we each must function as a direct mouthpiece, that this is a universal declaration or empowerment. Not everyone is empowered or equipped to be a “speaker” or “messenger.” But, we are all equipped to serve the body of Christ in love and to love our neighbor as ourself. He is arguing for all of us to be homogentisic, to all be extroverts for Christ, that we should be overflowing with exuberance because of what Christ has done for us. The problem with this conclusion is, of course, we are not all made the same. We are not all the same people or even kind of people. We are not cookie-cutter pieces, all with the same characteristics. We each are different. We each are unique. If an antisocial person is so by birth, by nature, by environment, but is subsequently transformed by God and changed into an extrovert for God’s purposes, then may God receive the glory. May this individual go out and speak to everyone and anyone that God moves them to speak to. May he bring to the church service a hundred people they have talked to this week. But, this is not the same journey in Christ for everyone who comes to Christ. If the introvert is transformed by Christ and no longer steals, no longer cheats on his wife, no longer gets angry with his children, but still remains an introvert – this is by God’s design. He had made him this way on purpose and for a particular purpose. He cannot become extroverted any more than the extroverted person can naturally keep quiet. Maybe the introvert has been called to a life of contemplative prayer and solitude and writing? Should they deny what God has called them to do and to be because they are drawn to contemplative life but we are told to be something else? The reality is, we are changed by God, not under our own effort. Paul tells us it is best to remain in the state in which we have been called. But, he admits, one person has this gift, another has that. Some are called to be single, while others (many others) are called to be united with a spouse. Each is given this by God. Some are called to be evangelists. Some Prophets. Some Apostles. So Elders. Some teachers. Diverse gifts, but the same spirit working through them all. We are not obligated to speak to people randomly in public outside of our normal walk and care of life. We are not instructed to start up “amway-like” conversations with strangers to offer them the “opportunity” of believing?

Ron goes so far as to make this statement: if you feel you are not called to evangelism and are okay with someone being brought to you by God, and that the only way they will hear the gospel is through you, and you are going to choose not to share that opportunity with them (basically condemn them to hell), then that is on you. The problem with such thinking is 1. It presumes that the one who is being brought into the others life has a choice to choose and that he must be presented with the gospel in just such a way so that he “might’ choose. This is false. 2. It presumes that the one speaking has a choice to speak or not speak. I would argue while this is theoretically true, practically and theologically it is not.

What Ron is trying to do is guilt people into thinking that everyone’s (we don’t know who) salvation is “hanging in the balance,” and so we don’t know who will be saved, when they will be saved, but we do know that we need to save everyone. This guilts people into become Amway salesmen for God. But, if we are truly predestined, if we are truly called, and forgiven, and sanctified in Christ before we ever did anything, and then nothing can separate us from the love of God, then there is no reason why we should be concerned at all that we must witness to someone because of the potentiality of missed opportunities. There is no such thing. I am not in any way saying that we should NOT evangelize, that the individual should not speak to his neighbor or his family member, or his friend – IF GOD CALLS HIM TO DO SO. But, the calling and conviction must be there prior to the act. Otherwise, what we are doing is simply in the flesh and will profit us nothing. If someone is “saved” by such activity, it could be faulty, it could be malformed, it could be insincere. Everything we have ever done, everything we are currently doing, and everything that we will ever do – these things are already preordained before we did anything (Psalm 139:14). We are simply called to walk in those activities and actions in which we have already been set to walk in (Ephesians 2:10). His Word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11). He is, after all, the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).

The individual who sows is not typically the individuals who reaps (John 4:37). The one who waters may not be the one who sowed. The one who reaps may not have done either. But God gives the ability to will and to do for his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).

Everyone does not hear the gospel through preaching alone. If this were the case, then my salvation, my saving grace, the transformation I went through is not valid. It was two years before I walked into a church. I never heard anyone preach to me, and those few sermons I had heard over the years (as a teenager), I rejected out of turn. To be honest, I don’t even remember what was said.

I was found by God, transformed by God, through reading the Bible alone. Through reading just 2 Peter 2. And, the context of this chapter had nothing close to do with my life at the time. There was no logical reason for me to change from a Buddhist to a Christian in the middle of the night. But, I did. So, not everyone is saved by preaching.

Ron states that 2 Corinthians 5:20 means we are ambassadors for Christ. This does not mean EVERYONE will be called to do evangelism or to have the gift of evangelism. It means that we are called to be ready to give a defense for how we believe (1 Pe 3:15). Likewise, Ron mentions 2 Corinthians 5:9, in that it means we are to seek God’s pleasure, to be well pleasing to him. This should be our mantra in Christ. What pleases the Lord? The Love of Christ compels us.

Then Ron proffers the situation of what we would do if someone came up to us and asked, “What must I do to be saved?” He states that few people can actually provide an answer to someone when they ask such a question. We should be prepared and ready enough, equipped enough to provide a confident, self-assured answer and direction. But we are not selling soap. We are ambassadors of Christ. This is a grave responsibility to represent him well. It is not a gimmick. It is not a show. We are not trying to “convince” anyone of anything. God reveals himself to individuals and they are drawn to him and they are saved and inducted into the church, the mystery of Christ.

Then Ron jumps completely off the rails. He makes the comment that, because we are all ambassadors of Christ, this means we are not under the laws of the host country (which is any earthly law) which is grossly in error. This goes directly against Romans 13:1-2, 6; Titus 3:1; and especially 1 Peter 2:13. But, I’m certain he would say that was a false analogy if pressed on it.

I do agree with him that we are all to be like John the Baptist, “He must increase, I must decrease” (John 3:30). He also stated in 2 Corinthians 3:2-3 that w should write it on the tablets of our heart. As Ron stated, we are living epistles that people are reading the words of our life.

But he also says, we will be judged on whether or not we followed the “open doors” God gave us? I’m not arguing that if someone comes into my store, into my class, into Sunday school, or someone I meet on the street, in a grocery store, at a party, in the middle of the woods, or in any other course of my life, where I am convicted by God to speak to them about God and/or the gospel, and/or Jesus, and I don’t do it, that this is okay. It would not be okay. We must be willing to submit. We must be willing to surrender everything we have and everything we are. But, this does not in turn mean that evangelism is a cookie cutter process that everyone is responsible to do. We are not all hands. We are not all feet. We each have our own gifts given to us by God and are to be used for the glory of God. Some are given the fivefold ministry. Most are given some kind of “works of service” which is an endless myriad of things and ideas and ministries. We cannot boil down the body of Christ to a single, homogenized entity. We are diversity but the same spirit. As Dr. Missler states, life is for the process of discovering what it is God has called us to do, and then to do it!

In 2 Timothy 4:5, Paul tells Timothy to do the work of the evangelist because that was the work that was needed to be done. Maybe there was no other evangelist at the time, and Timothy was an elder, was a teacher, was possibly even an apostle. This passage is in no way a command that everyone of us need be an evangelist or do the work of an evangelist. This is simply foolishness.

In Matthew 5:18, you cannot equate “salt” as being the same as “evangelism.” They are not equivalent terms. A person can be very salty in life for Christ and not be an evangelist. They may be a teacher. They may be a pastor. They may be gifted as a construction worker who uses his gifts to help others in Christ and serves as a witness through his business dealings and his life conduct without ever saying a word to anyone his entire life. I know a business man who works with his hands, who makes a great deal of money, and he does not overtly “witness” to anyone. But his business is structured around mentoring troubled young men who need a godly example in their lives. He gives them jobs. He disciples them. He instructs them. But he does not evangelize them. That is, again, the job of the evangelist. Yes, we might witness through our actions, through our devotion to God in our life. But, we do not all need to go knock on doors every third Sunday to fulfill a quota because our pastor happens to be evangelistic (or even an evangelist). Just because he is doesn’t mean I am. My pastor (elder) is not a teacher. He will tell you he is not comfortable teaching. He does not enjoy the dialog between people during discussion sessions. He prefers the proclamative nature of the sermon, without the near constant interruption of discussion and questions and comments. I, on the other hand, am greatly energized by the class that is inquisitive, insightful, engaged, and participatory.

I believe, if it is God will for me to speak, for me to walk, for me to move in a particular direction in life, if we are surrendered to him, not resistant to his will, then that action will be brought about. There is nothing we can do to avoid it. God gave me 13 years of solitude and peace and isolation to pursue him through the deep study of his Word. But when it was his timing for me to go out and put that engagement, that study, that preparation to use, he insisted, pricked my conscience, made it clear to me, prepared me, equipped me, and utilized everything he had done and that I thought I had done through those 13 years for his service. God doesn’t have to find a way. There are not opportunities to be saved and if you miss out, you are condemned. God knows who are his and this status was determined long before we were ever created and long before the physical dimension was created. We have been predestined from before the foundation of the world to be saved. We are the elect. He is the author and finisher of our faith. Not the co-participant. We are vessels of mercy.

We are holding “words of preservation” for people who are dead in their trespasses and sin. If you withhold that truth from them, you are guilty of not giving them that which would bring them life. (You notice there is no scripture reference provided here because there is none found in the Bible).

In Matthew 5:15, who shines a light and then hides it? This is not what the Christian does who is not called to evangelism. He is shining the light of Christ through whatever gift or service he is called to do. He is not shining the light of Christ if he is arbitrarily or contractually or obligately witnessing to someone if he is not convicted or called to do so. Hiding our light is to deny Christ to those who would ask of us. It is the carnal Christian who confesses Christ but walks no different than the world that is guilty of withholding from the body of Christ.

Lecture 2

There was much less in this lecture because of the use of the David and Goliath example.

I would agree with Ron when he said that it is often people in the church who criticize you for doing the work God has called you to do. They will try to discredit or disqualify you because they feel threatened or what you are doing will cause them to be pulled out of their comfort zone. They do not want to look bad so they strike out.

Ron states that we should evangelize from the abundance of our own heart. From our life experience. From the content that shaped us. I agree with this statement. I would add that we should never do anything unless we are certain it is God who is convicting us to do it.

I thought it a little odd that Ron made the comment that David was committed to the battle before he has his ammunition (of stones) for the brook was in the middle of the valley. I think he is insinuating that we should start “working” for God before we are equipped. No formal training in Seminary. No church experience needed. We should just go and start throwing things on the wall and seeing what God makes stick. From my perspective, the church has a two fold problem. It simultaneously suffers from professionalism and also amateurism. Too many people who think they know what they are doing but do not.

I would agree with Ron that people are not fighting with us they are fighting with God when they hear the gospel and do not accept it. We are told as much from Jesus, “The world hated me before it hated you” (John 15:18; 1 John 3:13).

There is something to be said for Colossians 4:5-6, that we are to walk in wisdom toward those who are on the outside. That we are to redeem the time. That our speech should always be with grace, seasoned with salt, so that we will know how to answer everyone. The only way to walk in wisdom is to receive the wisdom from above. This, for us, is done through prayer, through reading and studying the Word of God, through participation in the body life of the Church, and through service to and on behalf of the mystery. We should never take offense, never get testy, never cause harm, but be at peace with everyone and strive for the good of the other in everything. This is the grace of God. Few will generally deserve such favorable treatment. But, we too deserved nothing like we received from Christ, for while we were still yet in our sins, he died for us (Romans 5:8). Our speech should also be “seasoned with salt,” in that it should be productive, tactful, efficient, and effective. By doing these things we will know how to respond to the challenges against Christ that come our way.

Lastly, I did like Ron’s answer to the philosophical problem of evil. If God is good wyd does he allow suffering or evil? Answer: because he allows us to live. If he were to wipe out evil from the face of the earth, he would have to win out the human race entirely. Evil is tolerated in this season of God’s redemptive plan for us, so that he might show his wrath and make his power known, he endures with much long-suffering the vessels of wrath (who are prepared for destruction) so that he can make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he prepared beforehand for glory (Romans 9:22-23).

Conclusion

I would have to say, this was not a very good course. But, the topical courses typically are not and they are quite shallow in material and scope. But, that is okay. It was good review and I was able to solidify my opinions on the subject. There are a few bits of information that will come in handy when I prepare to teach “evangelism” in our small group in a few weeks.

Until my next assignment….


Please consider supporting my writing, my unschooled studies, and my hermitic lifestyle by purchasing one or more of my books. I’m not supported by academia or have a lucrative corporate job – I’m just a mystical modern-day hermit trying to live out the life I believe God has called me to. So, any support you choose to provide is GREATLY appreciated.


Excerpt from Our Daughter:



“Okay, mom,” Randy said.

“You behave yourself and be nice. You’re lucky to have company while you wait for the doctors.”

The woman turned and started back the way she came.

“The nurse said it would be twenty or thirty more minutes, so we’ll eat quick and be back up here before they take you in, okay?”

“Okay, mom.”

“Sorry for him,” the woman said to Katie as she walked by.

“He’s funny.”

Katie grinned.

As the woman left, Katie noticed the boy moving around again on the bed. Before she realized what was happening, the tiny lump disappeared and she could hear the faint sound of bare hands and feet on the tile floor.

He was low crawling under the beds toward her.

A moment later, Randy popped his head out from under the nearest hospital bed, craning his neck around to look up at her.

“Hello, there,” Katie said.

Randy disappeared back under the bed, the bed sheet draping down almost to the floor. Katie could still see three little fingers pressed to the tile.

“What are you here for?” Katie asked, readjusting her seat in the chair, trying to get the ache in her chest to lessen.

For whatever reason, the wheelchair was really uncomfortable.

“Why are – “

Randy’s voice trailed off for a moment as he looked around.

“Why are you here?”

“I’m getting my leg fixed,” Katie said. “See?”

Randy poked his head back out from under the bed and looked at the leg she was pointing to.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“The doctor said it’s broken,” Katie said. “Shattered.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. Ouch.”

“Can you feel it?” Randy asked, able to stay out from his hiding place.

“I can feel it, but it’s not too bad,” Katie said, then tapped the IV in her arm. “This thing is giving me medicine of some kind for the pain. At least that’s what the nurses said.”

“Why are you – “

Randy stopped mid-sentence.

He scooted out from under the bed entirely and slowly crept over to er on all fours.

“What are you, some kind of spider?” Katie asked, giggling a little.

“What are you?” Randy echoed.

He was now only about a foot away from her chair and sat there, his legs folded up under him, gawking up at her.

“What are you staring at me for?”

“I’ve never – “

Randy put out a hesitant hand and ever so gently touched her arm.

“Are you some kind of ghost?”

He looked around again.

“Are you – ”

He leaned in, talking in a whisper.

“Are you dead?”

A nurse came around the corner and stopped abruptly, spotting the empty bed in the far corner where Randy should have been.

“Randy Andrews,” the nurse said, her hands now on her hips. “You get right back into the bed and you stop playing around, please. They are ready for you in surgery.”

Katie watched as Randy scrambled on all fours under the beds and back up onto his, pulling the sheet back over top of himself again.

She started to ask him about his question, but couldn’t get the words out before his parents appeared at the door.

Katie sat there quietly, watching Randy stare back at her from under his sheet. She glanced over at his parents and the nurse, noticed Randy’s dad had no hair on the top of his head.

Are you dead?

What kind of question was that?

The snap of the wheel locks being disengaged on Randy’s hospital bed jarred Katie out of the confusion she was in.

The doctor she’d first seen was now at the door, waiting for Randy.

He was his surgeon.

They wheeled Randy out of the room, his parents following right behind, disappearing to the left, heading for his operating room.

The pre-op room was empty again.

Dead.

Are you dead?

What kind of crazy question was that?

The nurse came back through the double doors.

“It won’t be long now,” she said.

“Okay.”

Katie tried not to think about the dull ache growing just behind her sternum.

The nurse disappeared around the corner as Katie watched the double doors to the operating rooms slowly shut.


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