The next course I selected as part of my Unschooled Master of Theology program was the KI course, Discouragement & Trials, which was taught by Joe Focht of Calvary Chapel of Philadelphia. It discusses the tactics and challenges of responding to trials and tribulations in the world today as believers. It reviews several individuals in the Bible who are examples for us of handling adversity well.
As a reminder, you can find all of my course assignments for the uThM here.
So, let’s get started….
What Do I Already Know?
I know my fair share of discouragement in this life. I’m certainly no expert, and I cannot honestly say I’ve suffered greatly. I have never suffered for Christ. I have not, as Paul says, “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). This means that, either I am not “entering the Kingdom” or that this passage does not apply to me. Does it mean that it does not apply to all those in the American Church, churches throughout the Western hemisphere, and the Western world who never felt the persecution or “tribulations” of Christ? Does it indicate that there have to be tribulations for Christ? The word here, θλῖψις, means trouble involving direct suffering. What suffering has the American church undergone in the last 100 years that is uncommon to man (1 Cor 10:13)?
So, in this respect, I know very little of the realities of the persecuted church nor do I have the direct knowledge of Christ that is found amidst the hot iron of persecution. I would argue it is to our detriment and a condemnation. It is a faithless religion in which we find ourselves planted. Our evangelism should be, like Paul, first to our brethren, and then to the Gentiles. The fields are ripe in the American church for salvation. Yet, the workers are few.
What Do I Want to Learn?
I wanted to take this course because it falls into a greater research project I am working on to develop a comprehensive Theology of Persecution curriculum first for our church, then for our ministry to offer to other churches throughout our region, and throughout the US. It needs to be presented in a way that illustrates how bizarrely unique American Christianity is compared to the rest of the expressions of the faith throughout the centuries and across the globe. Few have had such a priveledge (or curse) of never having been tested through the anvil of persecution for the sake of Christ. But, that being said, there is no reason to believe or conclude that this is how Christianity is or should be for the rest of the church, nor does it indicate in any way that this will continue for any length of time after this point. At any moment we could be plunged into geopolitical or geotechnical circumstances that would render us an enemy of the state, enemy of the culture, or both. Likewise, the last few years have illustrated for us how precarious we are in the sense of biohazards, in the bringing about of manufatured pestilence, and how even perceived threats can destory us.
I think it is something we must soberly and seriously consider in this life, that our troubles and our struggles are for our benefit. For, Jesus said, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom 8:28).
Lecture 1
Discuss your perspective(s) about how our culture contributes to anxiety. How can we best cope with these influences?
- I would argue this is anxiety greatly manufactured by the media, by the use of social media, and by misuse of “prophecy” studies.
- Younger generations feel dread and doom concerning their futures and have given up to hedonism.
- Older generations are now suffering with the debilitating issues of illness and wealth (and this negatively affects our faith proportionally).
- Our best “coping mechanism” is to draw ever closer to God’s Word, to remain steadfast in the lives of the other members of the church and in the assembling of ourselves (He 10:25). We can turn off the television and the 24/7 news cycle. We can also not get obsessed with prophecy or the pinning of prophecy to the evening news. It is our hope in Christ that we are to comfort one another with (1 Th 4:18). Because of the promise that he gave us, “we are not appointed to wrath but to salvation” (1 Th 5:11).
- We need to allow for God to work in us, change us, and allow for that change to grow us into different people, and ever toward Christlikeness.
Discuss your insights and perspectives about God’s gracious care for your life. Use Scripture to support your response.
- God’s love I have experienced immensely throughout my life. While I have not been so seemingly accomplished according to the world’s standards (career, marriage, success, etc), I have had an interior, intimately spiritual and ecstatic spiritual life that I would not trade for any amount of worldly benchmarks of “the good life.” I believe this is the love of God that I met when I was 17. He could have left me to my own devices, but he did not. Others he did leave there in the darkness. But, for whatever reason, he saved me (Ro 8:30)
- God loved me by sending his son to die for me that I might have hope of life in the resurrection (1 John 4:10; Ro 5:8). That we might be called “sons of God” (1 Jo 3:1; Ro 8:19).
- This is why we are capable of loving others because God first loved us (1 Jo 4:19; Jo 3:16).
- Everything that happens to us, the good, the bad, and everything in between, happens to us somehow for our benefit (Ro 8:28-30). Missler says that everything experience in our life is “father-filtered.”
- We are more important, of more value, presumably than anything else in his creation (Ma 10:29-31). The very hairs on our heads are all numbered.
- Yet, we are disciplined by God through adversity, through trial, through tribulation because of #4 (He 12:6-11; Re 3:19).
Discuss how you can do more to improve your efforts to bring a more, impactful “theological perspective” into your life situation(s)?
- Commit to reading through the entire Bible if you have never done it.
- Commit to a systematic study of the Bible, by yourself or preferably in a small group.
- Commit to routine prayer, communication, and communion with God. It is hard to maintain because the world crowds it out with busyness. There is no substitute for a genuine, heartfelt, authentic relationship with our God. No religious trappings, traditions, or activities can replace this, yet sadly, too many in the church have no genuine relationship with their creator.
Share, and discuss a time you have applied Jesus’ “prescription” for dealing with an anxious season in your life. How did it work out for you?
- I have to do this every single day! I am a constant worrier. I always have anxiety and bound from one crisis to another. My wife not long ago asked me in exasperation, “Can you ever just be positive for once!” because my mind instinctively goes to the negative, to how things are not working, to the challenges, to the issues that need to be fixed.
- I would say the most memorable example for me is when God told me I would be getting married again but did not introduce Jennifer and me to each other for three long months. I would see couples at the store, on the street, with kids, and after years of peace and tranquility of being single, I suddenly had an overwhelming love for a person I did not know, nor did I know if she even existed. I made it through that time by returning every day, moment by moment, to God in prayer and in reading his Word. I had to surrender to whatever it was that God was doing in my life and accept that it would all work out in the end for my benefit. Ultimately, it did. I am now thankful that he was not trying to teach me to live with that love, but he brought me a wife and a busload of children to love.
How would you describe the value and importance of 1 John 1:9 in your life? How, and why would you share these truths with others?
- Do we need to confess to be forgiven? When were we forgiven? How many of our sins were forgiven at the cross? Were they forgiven then or only after we confess them now?
- I would share from this verse not that we need to confess every sin to be forgiven but that God is faithful and just. No matter how it all works out, he will ultimately one day settle the matter completely. It will make sense, even though it may not now (for example: someone loses a child. It does not make sense to the parent now, but one day it will).
Discuss how being anxious betrays one’s trust in God. Use Scripture to support your response.
- Being anxious accomplishes nothing, we cannot do anything productive with it (Luke 12:25).
- If we are anxious it is because we are convinced that something is not going to work out for us, that some calamity is going to befall us and it will be devastating. This goes against Rom 8:28. Do we believe or are we double-minded and doubting (James 1:2–8; Matt. 17:20; 21:21; Luke 17:6)?
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Lecture 2
What is the Book of Remembrance? How can knowing that this book exists provide comfort?
In Malachi 3:16-17, the book of remembrance is the record God keeps of those who fear him and honor him. It contains the names of those who God considers to be “his people” and when he judges the entire creation, they will be considered “his special treasure” and he will spare them like a father. This is akin to Revelation 20:12-15, which states, “Another book was opened, which is the book of life, and the dead were judged according to their works, and anyone not found in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire” (Ps. 69:28; Dan. 12:1; Phil. 4:3; Rev. 3:5). This book serves as a reassurance that our faithfulness is not futile or trivial but is grounded in the promises and predestination of God.
Joseph promised Pharaoh that God would give an answer of Shalom. What experience have you had in which you too received that Shalom that passes all understanding?
Genesis 41:16 – “Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh an answer of peace.” I would argue for and cling to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6–7). This is not the absence of turmoil, challenge, or difficulty. Rather, it is a supernatural dispensation of peace and security amid whatever circumstance we might find ourselves in.
Joseph somehow held onto the peace of God during his entire life, when he was sold into slavery, when he was imprisoned falsely when he was forgotten by those who swore to help him. God saved him in the end and even rewarded him for his faithfulness, but not without his enduring for a time and learning from the harshness of the world.
There are times that you will be discouraged – “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Even Paul and Silas despaired of life itself but they endured – share with your classmates something you are enduring and join in intercession for a classmate.
The examples of Joseph and Paul and others in the New Testament make any trial or tribulation I am facing pale in comparison. So, it is difficult to come up with an example. In the past, I’ve had to deal with irate people, difficult people, and people I was sincerely trying to help. It is difficult to say I would have been better off without those experiences since it has shaped me into who I am today. God uses all things for my good. But, it was not easy going through them.
What does it mean to you to finish well?
Finishing well means completing this life in a manner that significantly honors the character and person of Jesus Christ. It is fulfilling the genuine calling of God on the individual’s life, surrendering to his will, obeying his voice, and remaining consistent in that until his final breath. Paul epitomizes this idea in his letter to Timothy, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7). This is done in good times and bad, regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. As James says, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12). It is, in the end only that we leave a legacy behind us, but that legacy is build over the many years of walking in faith and in obedience to our God. Our actions and faith can inspire future generations, but our legacy must be one etched on the hearts and souls of other people, not in brick, hay, or stone.
Comment on Alan Redpath’s quote: “The hardest battles that are fought are just before the war is over.”
This quote would indicate that just when it seems the worst when the battle is at its fiercest, this is the moment at which we can take comfort that the war is nearly won. In many expressions of Christianity, they await the end or hope and strive to bring about utopia on earth, thinking that Jesus will not return until his kingdom has been built for him. This quote instead insists that the war is all but won, that we are in its last stand, and all will be made right in the end.
What does the faithfulness of God mean to you?
The faithfulness of God is indicative of his unchanging nature, his ability, and his willingness to fulfill the promises he has made, and that we can trust in what he says. His faithfulness is assurance for us during trials and hardships, even when we are in the midst of immense difficulty, we can find and are oft given unreasonable and unexplainable peace. His faithfulness also means that what he has started in us, he will finish, for he is the “author and finisher of our faith (He 12:2).
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Lecture 3
Why is there a slough of despond?
This “slough of despond” refers to the metaphorical place of deep despair and hopelessness. It symbolizes the emotional and spiritual struggles that individuals experience when faced with overwhelming discouragement. This term is derived from John Bunyan’s “The Pilgrim’s Progress,” which depicts a mire that ensnares travelers and prevents them from progressing on their journey.
It is easy to be taken in and taken over by this slough of despond, the despair that entangles us as we make our way through life. But we are told by Paul, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). We likewise see this elsewhere in Ep. 6:12, 13. He. 11:35–38; 12:4. Ja. 5:10, 11. 1 Pe. 1:6, 7; 5:8, 9. Re. 2:10; 3:10. But, we are to trust God. We are to rely on him in that it is only through him that we can overcome obstacles and the challenges that face us as we navigate through our moments of despair.
Why was David discouraged? What things are causing you to struggle right now?
David was discouraged because, at this point in his life, he was facing relentless pursuit by King Saul. He was on the run, a fugitive, living in hiding despite being the anointed future King of Israel. This led to his isolation, fear, and hopelessness in his circumstances. While I’m not being pursued to the death by a direct adversary, I still feel the struggle with relationships, with work, with finding enough time to get everything done and achieve some kind of sense of accomplishment. I struggle with selfishness, bitterness, resentment, and regret.
But, in all these challenges, I try to remind myself of where I was before and what my life looked like. It was a great life. But this life now is so much the more. It is like going from black and white to full color in an instant. Words simply are not sufficient to describe.
Life goes from the furnace to the anvil etc. Share something from your past that upon reflection you can see what God was doing when you were in the furnace and on the anvil.
Several incidents in my life illustrate how God was correcting me, forming and shaping me into something, into someone else. I struggled through my time with Rod and Debbie, I went through some dark times during my heart attack and the recovery after. Even now, I find myself being stretched. The tasks, the opportunities I missed because I was unwilling or unable, incapable of doing certain steps, those have all now come full circle, and not only am I doing those things (because of my family’s support), but I also get the benefit of enjoying my family to the full extent. I can’t tell you what it is like when one (or both) of my daughters climb up into my lap and curl up or when one of them snuggles into me when the family is watching a movie together. God has blessed me beyond measure and has rewarded me beyond what I deserve. I have earned none of this life I currently enjoy. And I know that he expects a return on his investment. Much is given, much is required.
The reality is that my entire life is a process of being shaped and formed and molded on the anvil, and this will most likely not change any time soon and will continue for the rest of my life.
As believers we can get so overwhelmed we can forget what we know – but we do know? What are the tools of God that provide deliverance?
Deliverance from being overwhelmed. This is difficult to accept often as we work our way through the brambles of this fallen world. People are often very difficult. Yet, at the same time, the church is called to join together and help one another, encourage one another, and care for one another in and through love. This is the fellowship of the mystery that we can and should and do come together for each other regardless of our status, our breeding, our intelligence, or our education. We are to comfort one another and will be known as Jesus’ disciples by the love we have one for another.
Second, we are given the instruction and comfort of the Word of God. This takes primarily two forms. It is the written record that we have in the Bible. This is tangible, it is fixed, it is tradition, and has reached us through the passage of time and through, as Dr. Missler states, much hostile jamming. But, we are told by Paul that all of it is given to us for our learning, that we might be able to “through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope” (Ro 15:4).
Third, we are given the Holy Spirit when we are born again when we confess Jesus as Lord and believe God raised him from the dead. It is here that he removes and replaces our “spiritual” heart (the innermost part of the soul) with a new one, one that is in alignment with our God and maker. It is through the teaching, conviction, and guidance of the Holy Spirit that we are taught and brought to a clearer understanding of the word of God that goes beyond mere words on a page. This is the living bread, the life, the living vine that we are all attached to through adoption. It is part of the Word of God, the living Alpha and Omega, the one who was once dead but now lives, the one by which all things were made that have been made. This word he brings to us directly imparts to our souls the stillness of our reality, that truth and understanding that is beyond understanding.
Lastly, we are given the prayer of the saints. The mechanism by which we reach out to the mystery of our predestination, how in some way we influence God, move God, persuade God by falling into his already self-defined plan. In reality, we do not change God, for he already knows what we might need or what is for our best. But, he engages us nonetheless, that we might learn.
I would argue these are the four tools by which God delivers us.
What was the symbolism of David going to Gath? What happens when we cross the line for a day?
David’s decision to go to Gath symbolizes a moment of compromise and desperation in his faith journey. Gath was a Philistine city, representing a place of refuge that was not aligned with his identity as an anointed king of Israel. By seeking safety among the Philistines, David was turning away from God’s protection and guidance, indicating a moment of vulnerability where he felt he had no other options. This act reflects the tension between his faith and the overwhelming pressures he faced, highlighting how discouragement can lead individuals to seek solutions outside of their spiritual beliefs.
When we cross the line for a day—whether that means compromising our values, engaging in behaviors we know are wrong, or turning away from our faith—there can be significant consequences. Such actions can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, further distancing us from our spiritual integrity. Additionally, this can create a pattern where one begins to rationalize subsequent compromises, leading to a gradual drift away from one’s principles and faith. Ultimately, it can result in a loss of direction and purpose, much like David’s temporary lapse in seeking refuge in Gath.
What is the key to the Valley of the Shadow of Death? When you are there what must you do?
The key to the ‘Valley of the Shadow of Death’ lies in recognizing it as a metaphor for the trials and tribulations that individuals may encounter throughout life. This phrase, derived from Psalm 23, illustrates the deep fears and challenges one faces in moments of darkness and despair. The assurance found in this passage is that even in the most daunting situations, one is not alone; God is present to guide and protect.
When you find yourself in the ‘Valley of the Shadow of Death,’ it is essential to take specific actions to navigate through the experience. First and foremost, one must maintain faith and trust in God’s presence and provision. Engaging in prayer and seeking guidance from scripture can provide comfort and clarity. Additionally, it is crucial to lean on supportive people—friends, family, or fellow believers—who can offer encouragement and companionship during difficult times.
Moreover, practicing gratitude, even in the midst of struggles, can shift one’s focus from fear to hope. Remembering past victories and reflecting on God’s faithfulness can strengthen resolve and provide the courage to persevere. Ultimately, the key is to remain connected to one’s faith and community, allowing those supports to illuminate the path through the valley.
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Lecture 4
What causes fear in your life? Why are you so fearful?
I fear doing the wrong thing, making a misstep, or deceiving or deluding myself into thinking that I am doing what God wants me to do, when in fact, I am doing only what I want to do. I’m fearful of this because I have found myself utterly deceived by my own perceptions in the past, perceptions of people’s intentions and motivations, and deceiving myself about the circumstances I find myself in and deceiving myself about my motivations.
I want to trust God in everything. I try to put it all down at his feet. But I keep picking it up again and again. Jesus warns us, “Do not be deceived.” Paul tells us, “Do not decieve yourselves.”
What are some of the Storms in your life? How do you usually do in storms?
Before Jennifer and I married the storms in my life were: family drama, work drama, health issues, the inability to make the progress I wanted to make. After Jennier and I married, those storms have changed a bit, some dropping away, others being added. There is still family drama, just different. There is some “work” drama, but much different. There is now ministry stress, the stress and frustration of dealing with other people. There are still health issues, but different. A lack of time has become a big storm in our lives.
What I typically do with storms and I systematically work to eradicate them and then to avoid them. I endure only as long as I have to to find the nearest port. Once safe and secure, then I systematically change my life, cutting out all of the variables that led me to being caught in the storm in the first place, so that I’m never caught in another one again. This does not work as well now because I cannot so easily cut and run. If a person was causing stress, difficulty, or drama in my life, I would simply cut you out of my life. That has now become much more complex and complicated. Now there are no easy solutions, despite my natural inclination to cut first and ask questions later.
From your perspective what is the difference between God’s perfect will and His permissive will?
It says in Matthew 10:29-31 that nothing occurs “apart from the Father’s will.” So I would argue there is no permissive will. Everything works together for the good of those who love him (Ro 8:28). Then again, it says that God “endures with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath” (Ro 9:22) so that he could “show his wrath and make his power known.” I would say this is his permissive will, enduring with longsuffering the actions and behaviors of the vessels of wrath, which were created ultimately and specifically to be destroyed.
What does it mean to underestimate Jesus? How does that affect your handling the storms of life?
There is a verse that makes me shutter whenever I read it. James 1:6-8 states, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. “For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; “he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” This, for me, puts Mark 11:23-24 into a much different perspective. Also Phil 4:6, “make your requests known to God” takes on a whole new context.
Missler often remarks, “God will every day find a new way to ask you the question, ‘Do you trust me?’”
When storms come we develop a plan? What do your plans usually entail?.
Run, Hide, Fight. – This was my plan typically for most of my life. Make sure I survive whatever issue it is, and then once I’m safe, change my life and behaviors in such a way that such a circumstance never happens to me again.
Today, God is forcing me to lean on him entirely. To trust in him. I’m hearing it. I’m seeing it all around me. Yet, I fundamentally disagree with such a conclusion. My way is much more efficient. Much more practical, expedient, and it keeps me from being exposed or hurt by others. But, it also jeapordizes any possible relationship with another person. That’s fine if you are alone and you are comfortable with such isolation. I saw if this draws you closer to God and he allows it, all the more. But, we are called to increasing fellowship with other believers, especially as we see the day drawing nearer. We are closer today to the end than we have ever been before.
Now I try to commit my life, my activites, my relationships, my entire being and behavior to prayer. Deep prayer. Daily prayer. Moment by moment prayer. To consume his Word. To place the church and his people at the center of our life.
Other storms are earned and corrective – share a personal example of one of these that you have weathered.
I think there is discipline in the Christian life, but not necessarily correction. Sometimes there can be. Church discipline. Most correction I’ve found to be discipline to give my life experience and context for the future, when endeavoring with others who are in similiar circumstances.
The examples that come to mind I’m not sure if they were supposed to be corrective, or lessons of learning, or are those the same thing?
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Lecture 5
Imagine the pain of a lost child; now imagine all of Job’s losses. He held on to his integrity – what does that word mean to you?
Job lost his children, his livestock, and most likely his livelihood. He lost his wife’s respect. He lost the loyalty of his friends (who thought he was guilty of some sin). It also might be considered that he lost his standing before God during God’s interrogation of him.
But, despite all of this, the consensus is, that Job held onto his integrity. In Job 42:6, he repented of his conclusions and accusations before God. Vs. 8 states unequivocally by God’s own words that Job had “spoken of [God] what is right.” His friends were found by God to be speaking in error. God restored Job when he prayed for his friends and God repaid him double what he had lost. His latter days were blessed more than his former days. He lived a long life and had many children and grandchildren. He had a full life.
Integrity, to walk circumspectly, to be the same on the outside that we are on the inside, is a rare commodity in the world today. To do what is right regardless of what it costs us who is watching or how it might benefit us is genuine integrity. I would say it is the most important state in which we can exist in life other than in the state of grace (for we can not have integrity and still be saved but if we have integrity but not be saved then we have nothing and our integrity does nothing for us.
Why is there suffering if we know that God is good?
Suffering universally is the consequence of the fall. It brought depravity into the world through the sin of Adam and Eve. Because of this, the entirety of the creation (the physical universe and everything within it) has been contaminated by this fallen state. We are, as a creation, incapable of being without suffering. It is fundamentally due to loss that is generated by “change” and death. Death is the change of life to non-life. It is the rending of the “living being” to disembodiment or non-existence (in the case of all non-human entities).
Suffering now is a universal experience of humanity. It is what Paul considered “common to man.” God’s goodness does not factor into this equation, but his justice and his righteousness. His goodness comes from his willingness to die on our behalf to rectify this quandary of our sin, deficiency, deformity, and spiritual and physical depravities. His goodness is displayed on the cross, where he allows the triune Godhead to suffer loss in our stead. He then provides the propitiation from that suffering to pay our accounts in full so that his justice and righteousness might remain while simultaneously we are redeemed to him.
We, once redeemed by the blood of the lamb, are no longer broken toys. We are no longer born children of wrath but reborn as direct creations of God. No longer are we considered his slave or servant but his son and daughter. Because of this newfound state of existence before us, though, we still experience the same sufferings that anyone else in life experiences (because we are in this life and cannot escape it save for death, resurrection, or rapture), we are no longer experiencing it as simply that which is “common to man.” Instead, everything that occurs in our life, everything that befalls us in our journey, is and has been worked out for our benefit. Everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly – is for our good.
What is the logic of the cross?
Logic is reasoning through rational thought. This means that there has to be a rational meaning behind the cross. When we say “the cross,” we mean that Jesus willingly died for us, a death by crucifixion so that he might die a sinless death and so that his death could pay for the sins of all of us who could not pay for it ourselves.
How, though, can one death pay for all? It is the innocence of God that provides the multiplicative power to cover a host of sins. If one individual dies for his sin, then he stands without the ability to raise himself again. His death carries no regenerative power. He has paid the penalty for sin which is death. The slate is wiped clean. But, then nothing. It was only by Jesus having never sinned (because he was God), that he was able to then die and pay the price for sin that he had no sin in which to pay for. This somehow rendered death’s power incapable of holding him any longer. He gained victory over death through his unjust death (according to God’s perfect justice).
God then was able, to enable himself to place that excess payment (for sin) onto our accounts. And because the love was so great by God’s will, this payment extends to everyone in the world and the world itself. For it will be all of creation that will one day be redeemed by the blood of the lamb.
So, the logic of the cross is this:
Death = sin – Jesus payment
(Death) Justification = sin (no sin) + Jesus resurrection
(Death) (Justification) Sanctification = Jesus resurrection + Holy Spirit
(Death) Justification) (Sanctification) Glorification = Right Standing before God
Why is silence sometimes the most effective form of counsel – do you have any life experience you can share?
Jesus used silence often in his teaching of the religious of his day. Those who believed and were convinced they knew God and what he wanted from them. But, they did not. And, yet, Jesus more often than not did not even bother correcting them. He just walked away.
I do not have any specific situation that I would want to share, but I would say I have had several experiences with people who, for whatever reason, were determined to go down the wrong road. They were slipping into some kind of habitual sin, were treating someone poorly, or were heading in the wrong doctrinal direction. In many of those instances, it was useless for me to say anything at all. People tend to do whatever is right in their own eyes and will not reconsider. Too often, we have to just let them own their own decisions and behaviors until they are ready and willing to listen. As Proverbs says, it is foolishness to try to correct a fool in his folly.
What is your reaction to the statement “God is not FAIR!”
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of who God is and how his justice, mercy, and righteousness work. It is also the misunderstanding that the world or our experience was ever intended to be “fair.” Fairness is synonymous with equality, and if you have 2, you should have 2 of the same kind and of the same measure of whatever we possess or want to possess. God does not work in fairness, nor does the Kingdom seem to operate based on any sense of fairness. Rather, it works on sacrifice, mercy, and righteousness.
God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit – the triune Godhead – operates fully upon the sacrifice of self for the sake of the other. The entire narrative of creation exemplifies this sacrificial systematicity. God is not fair. Thank God. If he were fair, we would receive the same judgment that the angels of Gen 6:2 received. We would receive the same judgment as Sodom and Gomorrah, the same as those who were created to be destroyed – the predestined lost. Rather, God operates by exercising his mercy and his abundant love for us and on us by dying to himself that we might live before him and for him.
Can you share an experience where you have given godly counsel to a brother or sister who was suffering and now you are in that same place and you can’t find comfort in the counsel that you gave?
I would imagine this happens frequently in our lives. Just the other day I was suffering greatly from depression. I could barely get out of bed each morning. I was despondent. I was without hope. The news I had received meant only one thing, that the worst was about to occur and there was nothing I really could do about it and all my work up to this point had been for nothing. Yet, I had to teach a Bible study that day and unbeknownst to me, the study we were on that week was talking about this exact subject. I had to give the advice that we need to lean on God in our times of despair, in our struggles, and not look at the individual aspects of that struggle as punishment but as something that is for our benefit.
God will often put circumstances in our path so that we are prepared for someone else’s struggles. But, at the same time, he can also give us a circumstance where we find ourselves in a dilemma, only to learn the lesson after the fact, or even in reverse.
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Lecture 6
Truly there are times that the enemy comes in like a flood and some days we do feel like we are going down for the third time! Have you ever had this experience? How did the Lord deliver you?
Time and change. Seasons are temporary. Valleys likewise. There was one circumstance I found myself in years ago where I was trying to help a family – the husband kick alcohol and drugs, the wife and children get stable housing, and heal from the battle their husband and father were going through. I struck in with them with everything. I moved in with them. I helped take care of the children. I was a friend to the husband. I tried to encourage the wife. But, when the husband started drinking again, lost his job because of it, and then told me that he had decided he was not going to stop drinking this time, that he could handle it, and that I just needed to get over it, I moved out.
For several months after, I was inundated with harassments, accusations, and personal attacks, all because I would not support him in his sin. I was beaten up by fellow Christians who said I should have remained in the house and continued to support the family despite the incidents of drinking, to the point that one person said I was not fit for the kingdom of God.
But, in the end, the family imploded. The wife left the husband. They vacated the house I had signed for (after running up a huge bill for lack of rent payments). God gave me mercy with the landlord (a personal friend) and she did not hold the debt to me. The husband moved away taking his children with him.
In the end, I learned that I am not cut out for such direct intervention with people and that, in reality, such intervention probably will not work since people need to stand on their own for the most part and work out the issues they have for themselves. But I also learned that I was right in that I moved in conviction and love to support this family when I did. I would not do it again (less God tells me to do so). I would approach it much differently. But, for some time there I was greatly distressed and concerned for my safety, for my very life, for my walk with Christ, for my work in his Church. But, God brought me through, and he brought to ruin those who would try to harm those who are his.
I remain grateful to God for the lessons I learned back then. I am grateful for how he uses those lessons and experiences even today.
What are some of the schemes and devices of the enemy? How has he targeted you?
Self-doubt. Denial. Delusion. Deception. For many years I abstained from the assembly because I did not trust the church or the people who claim to be Christ’s. I can’t say this time was in error. I learned a lot. God allowed me to be able to undertake a great deal of education and study in his Word and in Theology and Philosophy. And God has used all of that experience and education for the tasks and undertakings he has set before me today. All the business acumen I acquired in my 20s and 30s he has put to work in a ministry and career that I hope to develop for his glory.
But, in all of that, I doubt myself completely, and there is a litany of voices telling me nearly 24/7 that I am not worthy, that I do not measure up. I am also subject to self-doubt, delusion, to misaligned perception, especially in discerning other people’s motives. God has created the circumstances where I have literally EVERYTHING I could have ever wanted and especially everything that I have asked for. I have a wonderful, loving, devout, and encouraging wife. I have wonderful children. I have freedom from required employment. We want for nothing. We have a wonderfully unique home that we can remodel any way we desire. I am surrounded by my personal joys. Yet, I am burdened with doubts about myself, about what God will do (not what he is able to do), about what I deserve (which is a joke since he has blessed me beyond measure).
Satan uses fear and it can come in all different ways. What is your definition of Fear?
Fear is the absence of trust in God, that he will provide, that he will redeem, that he will solve the issues in my life. As a good friend has said repeatedly, God will take care of it, no matter what it is. There is no reason to have anxiety, no reason to stress, no reason to worry, for God will take care of it all. Fear is, essentially, a lack of faith in our God to “take care of it.”
Satan loves to get us to presume. What are the dangers of presumption?
Presumption changes the view of any given situation. Perception can often cloud reality. It can blur the motivations of others, or how we perceive those motivations. We can become paranoid based on what we “perceive” rather than what “actually is.”
James states: “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” How do we do that?
- We put all of our trust and belief into our God, that he will provide for us, rescue us, and preserve us not only in this life but in the life to come hereafter.
- We stand firmly on the promises given to us from Scripture and immerse ourselves in the Bible, holding on to its truths.
- We stay in close fellowship with other believers, working out our own salvation amongst the brethren, showing our journey and our walk in Christ and in the Spirit through our denial and death of ourselves to ourselves for the sake of the other.
- We do all of these things regardless of the circumstances that come our way. If we accept what may come, then we will not waiver in our steadfastness in Christ.
Our fight is not against flesh and blood; then just what is our fight? What are our weapons? How do apply these weapons in your life?
Our fight is a spiritual and supernatural battle being waged amongst us, yet seemingly within or across a multi-dimensional reality. There are supernatural beings present in our lives, working for us, against us, and the battle; the war is much greater in scope than we can comprehend or are privy to. We do not know the point of it all. We do not truly know what is at stake. We do not know the full ramifications. It seems it is being played out on our behalf, but for what purpose we know little, other than that we will one day be “revealed as Sons of God” and become “like the angels.” We presume that we will take vacant positions on the divine council, that we will take up our guard in the celestial kingdom, but what this actually means for us, or the rest of creation, or the greater supernatural realm is unclear.
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Lecture 7
Ever feel like Jesus was asleep during one of your storms? Share a time in your life when this has happened. What did you learn from this experience?
There have been several times in my life, mostly in my early life but also even today, that I felt like God had abandoned me, or had decidedly put me on a shelf as a broken toy and was simply allowing me to flounder in my own delusions until the day of judgment where he was going to require I give an account for everything I have done, haven’t done, and everything that I might have done if he had not intervened in my life. I can look back on the sum of my life and I can attest with some certainty that God did a good work in saving me at 17. Given my genetics, how I was raised, the parents I had, and my propensity to violent and evil thoughts, God has always been with me and has protected me from myself and everyone else.
But this does not mean that he does not allow me to go through the valleys of life. There are many points at which I despair life, my life, my walk, my existence, and all I would wish for is death to come quickly. But, even in that despair, I can feel his gentle touch. Maybe that is delusional itself. I will one day come face to face with the reality of my faith, I will step across the threshold of death or rapture and I will taste the trueness of truth, I will witness the peeling back of the curtain of this world and will be able to the first time see the face of God.
In all of my dark experiences, though, I have come out with a faith that is forged in adversity, that is strengthened in persistence, and that is solidified on the anvil of faith.
Why were the disciples more terrified of the calm than the storm?
They witnessed the creator of the universe and recognized, maybe for the first time, who was standing there with them in that boat. He was not simply a miracle worker, not a magician, not a trixter, but truly God in the flesh. He commanded the sea to rest, and it stood still. There was no negotiation. No ritual in which he was subject to garner his power and no God in which he had to entice to bring about his authority. He was God. He had command over the natural world, and the ease in which he calmed the storm – a true storm – would certainly be terrifying for even us today.
Comment on the following statement, “They did not doubt His power, they doubted his love!” When was the last time you said the words, “Lord don’t you care?”
I think it has been a very long time since this thought has crossed my mind. This is because I know that God does love me and he does care about what happens to me. But more importantly, I’ve been able to come to terms with the fact that God is in control. He has predestined everything, he has created me, I am his workmanship, I am his handwork, and he created me in Christ Jesus from before creation ever existed, that I would be destined for specific good works, and it is those works that he prepared me to walk in them.
He wants to be the Lord of the Storms in your life! What are your storm instructions He has given you?
Stay in the word, stay in close communication with him through prayer and communion with the Spirit. Defer to his will in all things. Trust that God is in control of everything in this life and that all has already been predetermined. Be watchful. Be sober. Resist the devil. Put on the whole armor of God.
Is it really true that when we are fearful, he responds? Give an Example.
I think God responds according to his perfect will and not based on our responses or our emotions. We are told not to be fearful but to fear the Lord. We are called to trust God without reservation and to live as if we are blessed because we are in Christ, not because of the condition of our life. So, I would argue that if we are “fearful” because of our lack of control in life, God does not necessarily respond to this in any way different than he would respond to us normally. There is nothing special about our fear, especially our fear of our lack of control or a fear of the unknown or our fear of difficulty, sorrow, or pain. I would argue that God responds not to our fear but to our faith. It dawned on me yesterday as I was driving a Uhaul van back from the pick up site to our house so we can move the rest of our belongings from our former house so we can put it up for sale, and also so we can move my mother into assisted living, that I stand today as a man who has been incomprehensibly blessed by God.
My life for the last eight years of my life before my marriage was one of personal bliss. I had no responsibilities. I had no obligations. I could come and go as I pleased. I had more than enough money to live comfortably. I was able to devote the bulk of my free time to the study of God’s Word, to writing, to research, and to undertaking intensive educational programs. The world was proverbially my oyster. Fast forward to today, though, and God has answered all of my prayers, even the ones I never prayed. I have been rewarded with a wife who is a devout and devoted woman of God. A loyal companion who desires to serve me, our children, and our church. I have been blessed with four wonderful children who are still at home, where I get to pour into their lives all that I have learned and have amassed over the majority of my life. All of the resources that I purchased, collected, and saved have all been put to perfect use, so much more so than I could have even comprehended. Above all, God has granted me ample provision that I do not have to work a regular job, I do not have a place I go to each day to work for other men, to build on other men’s dreams, but instead, he has provided for me that I can and should and need to pursue my art, my writing, and go into wherever it leads. This is my avocation, and God willing, it will be my vocation someday. My wife grants me much time to write and to study and to be alone. She allows me to recharge. She also is my very best and only friend in this life. The single person I desire to be around the most. Everyday. And he has blessed me with children I get to enjoy. I get to enjoy the affection and joy that they experience through fresh eyes. I get to watch our 3 year old start and excel at so many different things. This I see as reward to my faithful stewardship, my faithful pursuit of God regardless of my circumstances. My previous children, my previous marriage, were stripped from me. I had no choice in the matter. But, like Job, all that was taken from me has been restored to me ten fold.
So, I would argue that God does not answer us in our fear but in our faith.
Take a moment to pray for the members of your class for either the storm they are coming out of, or the one they are still in the middle of, or the one they are about to go into.
We discussed this in our small group and talked about some of the storms we currently find ourselves in. I feel very much that our current circumstances with one of our children, our busy schedule, and the stresses I’m experiencing serving the church have all been designed by the wicked one to derail our progress in life and ministry. We are called to a work here, in this community, among the faithful, and likewise called to those who are mired in the occult, who would possibly hear about Jesus from my books instead of from a pulpit. And, so, I through myself into my work, into my ministry. I try to take every day as it comes, but also want to purposefully focus on the little things, the enjoyable things, the similitudes of life that lead me to know that my God loves me. I want to enjoy the blessings he has bestowed on me. My wife. My children. My work. My church. Teaching. Serving.
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Lecture 8
Share an experience of a Storm 101 Lab that you have experienced. (Jesus in the boat sleeping)
I was in my early 20s, had been a believer since I was 17, and had just spent four years in the military, an environment that was easy for informal academic study, personal discipleship, and the pursuit of God. But, when I returned home from the military and tried to implement all that I had learned during those four years, I found things VERY different than I had previously expected. One major realization is the insincerity of people in general. Most people are disingenuous. Most are continually angling. Many have some kind of nefarious agenda. The whole lot seem to be dysfunctional in some way, bent from trauma in one form or another.
I was involved in local churches, trying to find my place in God’s “family.” I found myself trying to help a family I had met through work, and get the father out of alcoholism and drug use and crime. I fell in love with his family, with his wife, his children, and he became my best friend. I tried to apply the biblical message that we are to put others before ourselves, that we are to take care of those who are in need, that we are to protect children, etc. In the end, though, after all the trouble and effort and sacrifice, that family turned on me. My friend started drinking again, and became quite hostile to any help (except, of course, financial help). It became quickly clear that they had never really stopped using drugs and had been allowing me in their life because of the money I was providing them (helping with rent, utilities, etc). At one point I had to move out of the house, I had to retreat to constant prayer for deliverance for myself because they were spewing hatred and violence toward me for pulling the financial support. There was a point at which I did not think I would survive the situation. I felt I was in tremendous jeopardy. My enemies at the time were thrilled that I was being “punished.”
But, as I walked through the shadow of death, I clung tightly to him. And God did deliver me. He confused and thwarted their efforts. He destroyed the family from within itself. They could not come after me because they quickly imploded, the mother abandoning her children and her marriage for the sake of drug use. The father uprooted his kids and returned to the city, where he had been extensively involved in the criminal and drug scene. Their immediate needs, desires, and predilections were so great that they quickly forgot about me entirely. God saved me in that moment and in the days that followed.
In those days of uncertainty, it did very much feel like God had abandoned me, that he was asleep at the wheel. But, now, looking back on it, I am certain that he was right there with me through it all.
Share an experience of a Storm 102 Lab that you have experienced. (Jesus is not on the boat)
My first marriage ended in an abrupt, confusing, and debilitating disaster. I had spent five years investing in that relationship in taking on her three kids as my own, in homeschooling them, in loving my wife and children, only to be sat down one day out of nowhere and told that we needed to make some decisions because she could no longer live like we were living. In the discussions and talks that continued, I discovered that my wife had lied when we first met, when we both agreed that divorce was not going to be an option for us, that we would work out our differences and problems as they came up. The fact was, she had no intention on working on anything. As soon as our relationship became difficult, she was ready to cut and run, and that is what she did. She proved all her critics correct, she destroyed a great part of me at that moment, and I left shattered and broken, and without hope. I felt when I left our home and started living in my van, that I was no longer qualified to be a Christian, no longer qualified to be any kind of minister of the gospel, for I was going to be soon divorced and that was it. I felt at the same time that I had deceived myself about my work in Christ, in the lives of others, and that I was somehow a broken tool or toy that God saved to save others, but that I served no direct purpose. I quickly retreated into myself, into the world of make-believe, into isolation. This was comfortable for me, cathartic, and I was convinced that people were the problem. If I remembered the problem then the issues would go away.
It took a year for me to stabilize my own life before I could try to plan anything again. It took me 13 years of isolation before I could trust someone (trust God) enough that I could see a road back to engagement with the world or with his church.
Now, on the other side of the entire fiasco, I can look back and see God’s hands all over my life. Every decision now I can see was orchestrated with the future in mind. He was with me. He was directing me. Nothing was without intention or purpose, and all of it was directed toward my good and my benefit.
I can now see how everything during those 13+ years was put together to benefit those around me (and myself) now in my current seasons. From the money I saved, the credit score I developed, the properties I purchased and paid for, the car I paid for, and even the fiction books I wrote as a cathartic technique, God had intended good things for me to come from these terrible experiences.
Now, I can look at my life and see how God has truly blessed me, how, even though I saw only negative and punishment at the time, I can now see that God was looking out for me with every step.
Share your thoughts concerning the differences between wanting Jesus to wear a crown rather than hanging on a cross.
We often think that Jesus should be wearing a crown and not be hanging on a cross. We see the latter as a negative, as a brutality, an injustice that shouldn’t have occurred. But, the reality is, if we do not have the latter, we will not have the former either. There is no reigning king without first a suffering king. Many Christian traditions try to discourage thinking about the cross, but this is to misalign our purpose and mission. It is the death on the cross of our Christ, of God himself, that opens a doorway, the only doorway, by which we might be saved. The reigning of Jesus over the world will be a glorious day. But it will still pale in comparison to what happened that day on the cross.
How often do you get alone to pray? What does your prayer life consist of?
I used to have ample time to pray alone. I used to spend hours in prayer. Especially during times of distress or in the shadow, I could pour out my life and my heart at the cross. The last time this was true was the three months before I met my now wife. I woke up one morning with the realization that something fundamentally significant was now different in me. I couldn’t yet put my finger on it, but I had been changed overnight or at some point. Those times of prayer were intense, all-consuming, and bittersweet.
Today, my prayers are often sporadic and short-lived simply because I have no time to devote to quantity. But there are occasions when I still find myself alone. Usually, this is while driving a car, and I am free to pray to God to worship him, to do both with abandon. But these times are far and few between. Most of my prayers are short, quick-shot prayers in the moment, at any moment. At the same time, I can look back on my life up to this point and can distinguish the two major seasons I’ve undergone, and I can see how this latest season is by and far a reward for my stewardship in the past. It tells me that regardless of my isolation, despite my distrust of people or religion, I was still a child of God, and this last part is a reward for faithfulness. I, like Job, have had my life restored to me tenfold. My children have been restored (by him giving me not 3 more, but 10). My wife has been restored (not by giving me the one who was lying but by giving me another who is genuine in her faith). My finances have been restored in the sense that he had blessed me beyond my means, he has brought me material and financial prosperity, has freed me from the distraction of required employment, and has put to use and purposefulness all the training I have thus undergone. Everything down to the smallest minutia he has placed so in purpose and in great satisfaction. Nothing is out of place. Nothing is out of order. There was a purpose for it all and it was all, in the end, for my benefit. God has been so good to me.
How is Jesus your advocate?
Jesus works tirelessly to provide for me, to work with me, to teach me, to guide me. And yet he does all of it in such a way that it works out for my benefit every time. He is tirelessly working toward my good. Everything seems to benefit me, even the hard things, even the difficult things. It is a constant reminder, “if God is for us who can be against us?” (Ro 8:31).
Why does Jesus always seem to come on the fourth watch?
I think God spends a great deal of time orchestrating difficult scenarios for the expressed purpose of hanging us out on the limb so he can rescue us at the last moment. We are placed in jeopardy so he can illustrate to us and the world that he loves us wants the best for us and will indeed rescue us. He uses the fourth watch to test us and sift us, and also to teach us simultaneously.
K-W-L Self Assessment: L- Describe what you LEARNED from this session.
Nothing to add.
Conclusions
So, in the end, I thought this class was pretty terrible. First, I’m not a great fan of Joe Focht. While taking and leading this course in our small group, I looked up Joe a few times and watched a few sermons. I think he is okay, but that’s about it. He does not have the draw for me that Dr. Missler certainly does. Plus, the lectures’ order compared to the discussion questions was off by one week. It took us two weeks to figure it out, so we missed out on two weeks of study. Lastly, the tests were ridiculously hard. With Dr. Missler, the questions are easily lifted from the lecture, either by listening to it by use of the PDF notes or by searching the transcript afterward. Because these particular lectures were not hosted on YouTube and were not by Dr. Missler, it was difficult to determine the correct answers. There were several lecture quizzes in which I got very low scores because the test questions did not seem to match the lectures, or I could not figure out how to pull the answers from the materials.
All that said, the people in our small group liked it and Joe a great deal. Not sure why. I think I am more fact-based, more intellectually oriented, rather than practical. I’ve stopped attending the Wednesday group at this point, simply because my personal life has become very complicated and demanding as of late. So, it was one of the cuts needed to keep my and my family’s sanity. The group is moving on at this point with Philippians from Dr. Missler.
Until my next assignment…
Please consider supporting my writing, my unschooled studies, and my hermitic lifestyle by purchasing one or more of my books. I’m not supported by academia or have a lucrative corporate job – I’m just a mystical modern-day hermit trying to live out the life I believe God has called me to. So, any support you choose to provide is GREATLY appreciated.
Excerpt from Our Daughter:
“Okay, mom,” Randy said.
“You behave yourself and be nice. You’re lucky to have company while you wait for the doctors.”
The woman turned and started back the way she came.
“The nurse said it would be twenty or thirty more minutes, so we’ll eat quick and be back up here before they take you in, okay?”
“Okay, mom.”
“Sorry for him,” the woman said to Katie as she walked by.
“He’s funny.”
Katie grinned.
As the woman left, Katie noticed the boy moving around again on the bed. Before she realized what was happening, the tiny lump disappeared and she could hear the faint sound of bare hands and feet on the tile floor.
He was low crawling under the beds toward her.
A moment later, Randy popped his head out from under the nearest hospital bed, craning his neck around to look up at her.
“Hello, there,” Katie said.
Randy disappeared back under the bed, the bed sheet draping down almost to the floor. Katie could still see three little fingers pressed to the tile.
“What are you here for?” Katie asked, readjusting her seat in the chair, trying to get the ache in her chest to lessen.
For whatever reason, the wheelchair was really uncomfortable.
“Why are – “
Randy’s voice trailed off for a moment as he looked around.
“Why are you here?”
“I’m getting my leg fixed,” Katie said. “See?”
Randy poked his head back out from under the bed and looked at the leg she was pointing to.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“The doctor said it’s broken,” Katie said. “Shattered.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. Ouch.”
“Can you feel it?” Randy asked, able to stay out from his hiding place.
“I can feel it, but it’s not too bad,” Katie said, then tapped the IV in her arm. “This thing is giving me medicine of some kind for the pain. At least that’s what the nurses said.”
“Why are you – “
Randy stopped mid-sentence.
He scooted out from under the bed entirely and slowly crept over to er on all fours.
“What are you, some kind of spider?” Katie asked, giggling a little.
“What are you?” Randy echoed.
He was now only about a foot away from her chair and sat there, his legs folded up under him, gawking up at her.
“What are you staring at me for?”
“I’ve never – “
Randy put out a hesitant hand and ever so gently touched her arm.
“Are you some kind of ghost?”
He looked around again.
“Are you – ”
He leaned in, talking in a whisper.
“Are you dead?”
A nurse came around the corner and stopped abruptly, spotting the empty bed in the far corner where Randy should have been.
“Randy Andrews,” the nurse said, her hands now on her hips. “You get right back into the bed and you stop playing around, please. They are ready for you in surgery.”
Katie watched as Randy scrambled on all fours under the beds and back up onto his, pulling the sheet back over top of himself again.
She started to ask him about his question, but couldn’t get the words out before his parents appeared at the door.
Katie sat there quietly, watching Randy stare back at her from under his sheet. She glanced over at his parents and the nurse, noticed Randy’s dad had no hair on the top of his head.
Are you dead?
What kind of question was that?
The snap of the wheel locks being disengaged on Randy’s hospital bed jarred Katie out of the confusion she was in.
The doctor she’d first seen was now at the door, waiting for Randy.
He was his surgeon.
They wheeled Randy out of the room, his parents following right behind, disappearing to the left, heading for his operating room.
The pre-op room was empty again.
Dead.
Are you dead?
What kind of crazy question was that?
The nurse came back through the double doors.
“It won’t be long now,” she said.
“Okay.”
Katie tried not to think about the dull ache growing just behind her sternum.
The nurse disappeared around the corner as Katie watched the double doors to the operating rooms slowly shut.
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What do you think?